3 ways to fall back in love with your body today
Hi there, it’s Rachel from Eat Love Live.
Today we are outside my wardrobes, the scene of so many battles I used to have with my body confidence. I’d be trying on item after item, looking in the mirror and not finding a single, nice, complimentary thing to say about myself. Invariably I’d then go out wearing something akin to a cloak, something that made me look as grey and invisible as possible.
Have you ever wondered what the impact that negative, trash talk on your body has on your ability to reach your ideal weight?
It has a huge impact because it feeds into the cycle of diet failure as you try and work on yourself from a place of loathing, rather than a place of love and it is really hard to do anything unless you can find that support, momentum, personal desire to do something. It becomes really hard to keep going and you are in this for the long haul if you want to reach your ideal weight.
So you need to somehow manage that negative body talk that you have for yourself.
We have a really, really poor body image – 95% of women feel their lives would be better if they lost weight 95% of women feel their lives would be better if they were thinner. That is just wrong, so so wrong, particularly if you are at a healthy weight already and you are beating yourself up and loathing yourself day in, day out.
There is a way you can overcome it though, and it is actually pretty straightforward. It involves changing the stories you tell yourself.
I’m going to give you three things and if you were to do them over the next two weeks, you will start feeling differently about yourself and notice a difference in your ability to stick to those great eating habits that will help you reach your ideal weight.
First, identify the negative talk and actually throw it away. Like literally.
A study, performed by scientists in America, found that the happiest couples said 4 nice things to each other for every 1 nasty thing they said. Whereas unhappy couples, those likely to be heading for divorce, said 1.2 nice things for every 1 nasty thing. So what is your ratio like when you talk to yourself?
If you are anything like me or lots of my clients when they start working with me, you aren’t anything close to that 1.2 : 1 ratio; you are much more likely to be saying lots of nasty things with the occasional nice thing in there.
What I want you to do first is find a bit of paper and write down what those nasty things you say to yourself are. You’ll find they tend to be the same kind of things you say when you look in a mirror – “you’re so lumpy”, “you’re so stocky”, “are you really going to go out looking like that?” What are the comments that come into your mind when you look at yourself or think about yourself?
Write them on a piece of paper and then I want you to draw black lines through them, scrunch the paper up and physically put it in the bin.
Secondly, I want you to find nice things about your body that you love.
It could be your eyes, for one of my clients it was her wrists. It doesn’t matter where you start but I want you to find three things about your body that you love. Talk to your partner, providing they can be positive, why they love you and write those things down.
It may not all be physical, it could be the way you laugh, your strength, your running ability. Now write those down and here is the important thing - this piece of paper goes by your bed so that each night you read this to yourself. It has to be every night, late in the evening so this begins to re-programme you. The story you threw away will become replaced by these nice statements instead. Trust me, this works.
Let’s talk about the mirror issue - When you look in a mirror, a black cloud can appear and spoil your day purely based on what you see. You are now only allowed to say one thing when you look in the mirror. Write on a post-note or piece of paper “Hello Beautiful”, and stick that where you can see it when you are in front of the mirror.
You might be “faking this till you make it” but I know you are beautiful and you just don’t quite believe if yet. However much weight you do or don’t have to lose, your body is incredible, you are beautiful, you are worthy, you do deserve your place in the world and you will reach your goal if you do it from a place of respect and love for your body.
Thirdly, I want you to quit the body trash talk that happens with friends.
This is harder because we are so used to it. In social situations, we often have conversations such as “I’ll go on a diet in the New Year” or “I ate that, I’m such a pig”. You might start them, your friends might start them, but you have to shut it down.
So if, for instance, a friend goes on about how fat they are, tell them “you’re amazing, you’re my best friend, we’re not having this discussion anymore, let’s talk about something else”. If YOU start it, shut yourself down!
Don’t say bad things about yourself. It will require you biting your lip in the beginning; it may require some creative conversations. But don’t say it, because every time you do, you layer up this belief. It is like spending on a credit card, stop putting yourself into that debt.
So those are my three things.
I want you to read the three things you love about yourself each night, make “Hello Beautiful” the only thing your mirror says to you and quit with the trash talk. This isn’t going to work overnight and it isn’t about being unrealistic instead. Just remember that the happy couples say more nice things than nasty things and that’s what we are aiming for. Your mind is incredible, things will start to sink in and it will start to adopt these new beliefs.
So that’s the third video, the third pillar in the Real World Weight Loss Formula - Love your Body; key in breaking the Diet-Fail cycle. Don’t forget to like my page so you can download the free 30-day Eat Love Live Digital Journal and start to use it whenever you are ready to start your journey to ditch diets, fall back in love with your amazing body and build a positive relationship with food.
Don’t say “DIET”!
PS: Grab my free download with Eat Well 80/20 at the heart - the 28 day ELL journal - kick start your weight loss one week at a time - click here!