The 4 things I know in my 40’s that I wish I’d known in my 20’s
Obsessive is a word I would most definitely use about my 20’s and 30’s. Obsessed about what I was eating, when I was eating, what I should eat to lose the most weight, what everyone else was doing. So VERY yawnsome.
I ditched the guilt in my late 30’s when I got close to the diet industry in my role in marketing, and I saw what was really going on. I was lucky I had a life coach at the time and she helped me transition from hating my body to loving it.
My only regret is why did I take so bloody long to see the light! If I could take a little trip back through time and have a little chat with myself – these are the 4 things I wish I’d known then.
1. Trust yourself – you do know how to eat:
You’re going to use diets as an excuse to look inward, to avoid the world when you should be out in it. (I am thinking of your failed first uni attempt when you were a bag of nerves and couldn’t even look in a mirror, you wrote meal plan after meal plan and stayed indoors all the time). Oh and don’t go to that Weight Watchers class, that’s the start and they’ll take your money for years.
Believe in what you know, you don’t need someone to tell you how to eat. Eat as you did growing up. Nothing has changed except this false expectation of where you should be, which isn’t just unrealistic is downright unhealthy.
No one will notice your weight, but if that’s all you think about, no one will notice you.
Love everything you eat, eat good unprocessed foods most of the time – every now and then eat whatever you want and don’t ever feel guilty about it.
2. Don’t hate your body for not being thinner:
Enjoy the moment now, enjoy your body now – it does amazing things.
Early 20’s Rachel – FFS get your legs out lady, they are fabulous now but they were amazing then! Why on earth were you wearing 100 denier tights in mid summer.
You are perfect and amazing today – appreciate your beautiful self – work on yourself from a place of love not loathing.
3. There is no magic bullet for exercise:
One minute its kickboxing, then cross fit was the be all and end all. Right now it’s hot yoga but by Christmas you could be trying something else and THAT’S OK.
You need to move most days. Even a 30-minute walk is fine – you’ll up the tempo another day. Just move, stay in the moment - stop looking to far ahead. Moving today is all you need to do.
PS. You don’t need a 6 pack. I know you chased one for years. You do get one for a while, it will take a ridiculous amount of time and abstinence to maintain and quite frankly it was at the cost of having absolutely no boobs because your body fat was so low.
4. You don’t need all those clothes:
I used to spend upward of 3k a year on clothes I never wore.
Every now and then someone will say helpfully – ‘Oh you’d look sooo good in colour, you really should wear more colour’.
Stick with black – you love it, it loves you. You know what looks good on you – capsule it. Wear it – stop searching for something else.
Using clothes as a substitute for confidence is an expensive game that’s going to cost you upwards of 3k a year. When you stop that game you save lost weekends, and hundreds of pounds by shopping occasionally and trusting in a few key pieces. It’s a bigger freedom in your life – it gives you back time.
And those are my 4 🙂
Small life lessons in the general scheme of things. But why the heck not live a confident life, believing in your beauty and strength and not bowing to outdated pressures to look thin. We're only here once and our bodies are incredible things.
Eat well for health and happiness. You can lose that weight if you want to, you can stop using it as a stick to beat yourself up with. You just need to work on yourself from a place of love rather than loathing.
I’m really glad I saw the light when I did. I don’t know whether it was caused by a coming of age or because of what I was exposed to working in the weight loss industry and with a life coach at the same time – probably both.
Being free from obsessing about my healthy body in an unhealthy way has changed my life. And I want to make sure my daughter takes the positive path. I heard somewhere that they call your time after age 40 'Half 2'. I quite like that and I am pleased to say my Half 2 is a much more contented game.
PS: Grab my free download - the 3 easy daily habits that have helped my clients lose those last few lbs without the guilt and hassle of dieting - click here!